Why do I feel I am not good enough to be a part of Society?
All my life I have battled the feeling inside that I am not as good as those around me. I lack certain key parts that would make me equals to others. I have believed myself to be from the Isle of Misfit Toys. I must be broken. There is clearly a reason for me to be standing outside looking in.
I finally gave up the struggle of understanding why and simply accepted that I would likely either never understand or feel even more defective if I should learn. Instead I determined to understand HOW it has impacted me and look closer at the validity of these feelings. (No, what others tell me about my not being inferior has never done much to support me, but tends to make me doubt their intentions for doing so)
The moment of profundity came, as it so often does, in the soothing quiet of a Sunday morning.
I am only inferior to others in my own mind. I am unworthy in my own judgement and I have allowed that to shape my interactions. I have never been financially wealthy, and from what I see with so many who are, I never really want to be. My wealth lies within. I have all that I need and more. I am worthy of respect, which some see and others do not. Those that don't are not worthy of mine and I need to remember that.
The world around me has determined what constitutes value and for the most part, I think they are dead wrong. What needs to be the most important goal in our life is to make certain the next generation has a better place to live and grow than we did. To ensure they know the value of being alive: in tune enough to understand right from wrong, smart enough to figure out how to fix what is broken, strong enough to defend what is right, compassionate enough to care for others - yes, even those that disagree with them.
Until we as a species can cast aside the false claims that rich = the ultimate goal, we cannot put aside those layers of inferiority that plague so many in our world.
In conclusion, the lessons I learned about myself this morning is simple:
I am not inferior to any save my own self. I am limited only by those limits I have established. I am not servant to the cult of power, and the high priests of greed. There is more value in me than all the illusions of Wall Street can ever deliver.
